Today is a St Patricks Day and here in NYC there is going to be a really BIG parade down 5th Avenue. When I left the apartment this morning – there were so many COPS all over the West Village — I find it so un-nerving to see so many police officers. Mainly because I know they are there to keep the crowds under control –those people who feel the need to get drunk and act stupid. I’m all about “allowing all humans CHOICE to do be/act as they desire” … HOWEVER, when making choices – I also believe that you need to be respectful of others.
Right now I am experiencing so many questions in my mind – I know these questions are coming to me so I may learn/grow spiritually. Its been awhile since I’ve had the “head space’ to hear the questions and now I also have the time to work on the answers. (sometimes there is NOT one answer to questions but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask them –in my opinion!)
SO here are the two questions that are coming to me today –
Do my choices affect others?! Is that ok if they do?!
yesterday i had a lunch with a friend who is “worried about me” — she & my older sister would love each other as my older sister has expressed similar concerns with me. My friend poses the questions that I should be thinking about how I’m going to make money. She asks me how my other artists friends make their money. I need to make money so I can have a place to call home. I need to have a job (even if I don’t like it) to pay my bills. How long can you travel around with out a home – aren’t you going to need a place to call home. You aren’t 20 anymore. I noticed that she was speaking from a place of love — however, it was her own “issues” that were asking the questions about her own experience. Like my sister, she has chosen to be in a long term relationship with a partner & raising a family. They have a great life for them – and I have no desire to have that kind of life.
THEN … I thought Why should it matter to her!? I was thinking it probably doesn’t matter how much money I have in the bank – because I have a feeling anyone who consciously steps away from the “Mainstream – so called Acceptable” way of living in our society gets questioned.
Is my choice of to travel for the next few months the most safest thing I could do – NO!
However, its the safest action I can do if I want to stay happy & healthy!
My choice to leave my apartment & lifestyle was made for a few reasons:
1. Not interested in feeling stressed any more to finding ways to pay for it
2. Not interested in needing to live in east village
3. Not interested in working full time for something that doesn’t feed my artistic soul
4. INTERESTED in living life as fully as possible by being me 24/7
4. INTERESTED in meeting new people who understand why I made this choice
I know why I made my choice – and this is the only reason that matters to me.
So again I ask the questions – are my choices affecting her?!
ONLY if she chooses to have them affect her, right?!